Charlie Sheen Doesn't Buy Twitter Followers

Monday, March 7, 2011

Charlie Sheen Doesn’t Buy Twitter Followers

How does Gmail know that I’m interested in growing my followers?

My friend @loukerner and I were talking about his recent explosion earlier today. I said, “Lou, let’s see how much juice you have. Tell people to follow me.”

I go to lunch at Eataly where I run into a woman who knows the owners and get a backstage mozarella tour. I have a quick machiatto and return to General Assembly resuming my position of sinking into the double-wide couches.

I open my gmail and the ad says. Want more real twitter followers?

You Think? I’m losing sleep over my pathetic 721. I need anxiety meds. I clicked on it and was taken to a new business called Rush.ly. T

They want my paypal and will give me 100 “real followers” for 10 bucks. Monetizing ego at its best. Call it a digital tanning booth. How about some twitter followers with your botox injections?

Tempting.

I resisted the urge better than a sugar addict walking the Eataly chocolate gauntlet. No Rushly for me. I’ll have to earn my followers. PLEASE PLEASE!!

Maybe I could beat up my girlfriends, invite porn stars to live with me, and continue my Hall-of-Fame drug career. Or I could flip Rushly 210k to catch Charlie.

I wonder which option would go over better with my wife?